So, out in Derby today doing some last minute shopping.
I, as always when I see the guys and girls selling, ‘the big issue’ buy a copy.
The chap I was buying it from was talking to me and was clearly trying to engage eye contact and I was studiously trying to ignore it…..
Didn’t realise I was doing this until he broke down the carefully constructed wall that I was hiding behind by wishing me a ‘Merry Christmas’…
Totally took me off guard, I stumbled and muttered (retreating rapidly away from him) that I hoped he had a ‘gud un too’ and hurriedly escaped into the madness of the consumerist society.
I kept looking back towards where he was, why had he had that effect on me?
Still thinking about it now.
Not happy about the way I treated this guy..
He was a reminder of the fragility of my own position in life.
An uncomfortable reminder of how all of our destiny’s rest on the turn of a coin.
Life and status are such ephemeral concepts it is amazing that we are so blasé about it’s continuity.
Lesson learnt, engage with people and stop avoiding situations. I live my life too much as an observer and not a participant.